Joke One:
What's the difference between Ian Curtis and a toaster?
A toaster doesn't hang itself in the basement!

* you can change this one up using any appliance and any famous death, like--

What's the difference between Sonny Bono and a George Forman grill?
A George Forman grill doesn't kill itself by accidently skiing into a tree!
HAHAHAHAHA!

Joke Two:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Oh, don't worry. It's just me, Martin Luther, nailing the 95 Theses of Contention to the door.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!