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So I'm like 19 and I find myself living with some friends in New
Orleans.
I had been driving out to Metarie to this secret cow pasture to pick
psilocybic mushrooms daily, for maybe a month. We usually ate a buncha
shrooms and hung out on the Levy by the zoo, listening to the exotic
animals lose their shit when those giant electrical storms would pass
overhead, the sky would go absolutly crazy for about five minutes
and then a rainbow would finish it off.
One night there was a drunken voodoo kind of feeling in the thick, wet
air. The streets were full of midgets and pukin college kids and
alligator teeth and drunks and mimes and harlequins and crazy retarded
bikers. It started to downpour and didn't really stop. We hightailed it
for the car, but the puddles got ominously deeper by the minute and we
realized it was flooding. We were becoming trapped. Everything was fuzzy
after that...
The next morning the hot sun was burning holes through my face in an
attempt to cook my brain like so much jambalaya. I was in a wealthy
neighborhood somewhere in the Garden district on the roof of a giant
pink victorian house. I must've been fifty feet up! Some lady was
yelling at me to get the hell down from there. I didn't know how!! I was
scared. There was all of these kids on Big Wheels checkin out the the
freak on the roof. The whole neihborhood started to slowly... filter out
of their homes, quietly gathering in a vague formation like Stepford
robots in pink and blue fuzzy robes. An angry mob (polite, but angry!)
began to converge. I scurried down a flimsy pink drainpipe and ran. The
way they were walking towards me was so creepy! It bacame clear that
they meant to overcome me and, you know... experiment on me. Once again,
I just fuckin RAN! These big fat guys in blue uniforms started chasing
me too.
Hours later, as night fell, I stumbled through the front door. The cat
walked by savagely chewing up a BIG-ass beatle (as big as my hand!). The
bug's legs were flailing in a final pathetic burst of spirit as its head
was messily mangled from above and below by sharp cat teeth.
- Paul
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